Cough it up Fatso!

That’s Frahnkensteen
Really?? Well then is it Froderick Frahnkensteen?
No, it’s Fredrick, Fredrick Frahnksteen.
I see.
Well then, shall we go… it’s egor is it?
No, it’s algore

Ahhhhhhhhhh! The horror, the horror! Okay, okay, I embellished the last part. For those of you who haven’t heard of Mel Brooks in this day of “Jackass the Movie” et. al, the above are Guano favorite movie quotes from “Young Frankenstein,” arguably the best movie ever made. Of course the late great Marty Feldman ( he of the eyeus buggedoutus variant of homo sapiens) actually referred to himself as “Eye-gore” versus “algore”to poke fun at the young Herr Doctor’s denial of his heritage.

I’d like to deny the real algore’s heritage! His fear-mongering over global warming and the downright Inquisitional response of his “followers” to those who dare question the theory got tiresome long ago. I had to sooth Bat Jr’s (not his real name) fears after seeing a sneak preview of that’s ape’s mockumentary on another movie rental. I have no doubts that Earth’s climate changes. It has many times in the past even before us evil humans were around. What I have doubts about is that anthropogenic carbon has as big an effect as Captain Planet, errr, algore says it does. The sun has just a little bit to do with our planet’s temperature and is way beyond our control. I would theorize the Ice Age and when palm trees were growing in northern climes may have had more to do with what the sun was up to versus the CO2 content of the atmosphere. What’s more is plants just looovvvee carbon dioxide and tend to go nutz in such an environment cranking out huge quantities of oxygen in the process.

I am by no means a climatologist, but look how quickly I was able to gin up (without the gin even) a crackpot theory that sounds plausible. Perhaps I, Col Bat Guano savior of Coca Cola machines everywhere, should run for President. What really cracks me up is the story that came out yesterday. Seems algore and the Breck Girl use the same real estate agent. 10,000 square feet!?!?!? Is his environmental highness serious? Algore’s defense is he and Tipper buy carbon credit producing energy to offset their power addiction (the electrical kind that is).
I did a little calculation on my own “carbon footprint” after just changing jobs to see how I'm helping them out.

Now I’m one of those evil people that drive a 4x4 F150. It even has a “W04” sticker in the back window. (gasp!) I used to drive 24 miles one way to work every day in that truck. Let’s see, 24 miles times 2 times 5 days/week times 50 weeks a year and viola = 12,000 miles a year. I plug that mileage and a “4x4 SUV (oh that figures!) larger than 3 litre” engine into the model, turn the crank and …. 6,569 kg per year of carbon footprint generation from the truck alone. Okay, now I live 5 miles from the new job, 5 x 2 x 5 x 50 = 2,500 miles per year, turn the crank …. 1,369 kg carbon footprint – a net reduction of 5,200 kg per year or a 5.2 metric ton carbon credit. Jumping on the Kyoto bandwagon, CO2 credit going for 4 bucks a metric ton and ole fatso owes me about 20 bucks for helping to subsidize his power greed! Cough it up fatty!!

I’m going to start calling him fatso from here on. Seems everyone’s watching his waistline to see if he intends to run for President and give the Clinton’s a run for their money (all bazillions of it). Now that would be fun to watch the Democratic Party go nova with that scenario so if I piss off algore enough by calling him fatso, perhaps that’ll spur him into running in ’08. Yip-yip yahoo!!!

Fear of Success?

Greg Jamison of the SJ Sharks was at Adventure today extolling us all to be successes at what God is having us do. That sounds like a no-duh doesn't it? But it seems there are lots of people in this country who are uncomfortable with success. Jamison ain't one of those people and neither am I. Watching the political debate since Grandma and company took over, our Congress is really uncomfortable with success or at least trying for success it appears. The stakes are too high to accept anything but success in the Islamofacist War ("The GWOT" just doesn't cut it for me) these days, but the naysayer voice travels far and wide.

Jamison pointed out that bad news travels through a company at the speed of light while good news seems to move slower. Why is that? Probably the same reason we enjoy gossip - we like hearing about how someone else has screwed up and then join in on kicking them in the crotch after they've been dropped to the floor. Listening to Jamison on that point, I realized that's what Grandma's Congress reminds me of. Not one of them has a decent idea of their own, except conniving ways to embarrass the President and then pat each other on the back for their clever words. Meanwhile, our enemy watches the frivolity and feels empowered.

From Numbers 13, we see an example of the power of negativitism. Moses sent 12 men, one from each tribe, to the Promised Land to scope it out. The twelve returned with examples of the fruit of the land, yet said the inhabitants were too strong for them. That defeatism was what traveled through the tribes versus the sweet success of God's promises. The Israelites were ready to stone Moses and Aaron and turn tail back to Egypt. Of the twelve, only two stood up for God's plan - Joshua and Caleb - and told the Israelites to not fear those whom God had abandoned. Sound familiar?

I said initially I'm not bothered by my success. That's because I'm blessed. My successes are not mine - they're God's. As long I know that and give thanks for that, the successes will continue. This country has been blessed for reasons that only God knows in full. For that reason alone it's worth defending against all enemies. The leftwing, uncomfortable with the nation's blessings, couldn't disagree more.

"Irresolution"

... is the title of Noemie Emery's excellent article in the Feb 12th Weekly Standard. Grandma and the Defeatocrats have painted themselves into a bit of a corner with that non-binding resolution from hell as they'll be calling it eventually. A regular double-edged sword it is in that if the surge fails, Congress will be seen as leading the un-charge and if it succeeds, Congress will be seen as standing in the way of victory. Ouch. The Trumpster would can anyone who left themselves in such a situation. The next two years are going to be fun to watch!

Give Peace a Chance

Didn't we do that already? Many times? I remember the Pax Clintonia years quite well. Seems Western Civilization's mortal enemies took that lull to build their strength after it had defeated communism. Defeated. YES!!! We defeated communism!!! Now that's a good word isn't it as long as it's applied to our enemies. And enemies we have. I've been observing the Defeatocrats in their "surge" since Grandma took the gavel in the house. In their intoxication, they seem to be rady to leave this country's flank open for attack as long it embarrasses Dubya. Okay, you've embarrassed him, can you please get serious about protecting the country from enemies foriegn and domestic? Not that Grandma's an improvement over Hastert as far as someone who looks in charge. Hastert lost his will to lead a long time ago no argument there, but Grandma is ready to give peace just one more chance at the risk of the Guano family (not their real name) well being. As Hilliary said, "Not so fast!"

Mine are the most precious commodities I have on this planet so I'm not ready to let the Defeatocrat Party play political games with their lives. Our enemies are real and serious about the Guano family's annihilation in the most grotesque manner possible. I don't see the political will to confront this enemy in the power intoxicated Defeatocrat Party, perhaps a little more will in what's left of the backbone of the GOP. Therefore I've joined the Victory Caucus and I urge you to do the same.