The Baptism Question (or Battle?)

I haven't posted to this site since the election was over as I was wondering "now what?" as far as this web log's meaning. I believe I might have found it from my men's bible study group. We meet every Tuesday morning before even the sun has the good sense to arise.

I've been presented with a raging question in the last two meetings. The question posed to me is in regard to whether my Catholic style baptism (which I obviously don't remember!!) has sufficiently prepared me for Christ. That's an excellent question that needs some research on my part. I'm still seeking "the" answer. The question arose from our study of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, in particular Chapter 15 - "Formed for God's Family." To be honest, the last part of this chapter regarding baptism kinda ticked me off since it's a little exclusionary as Warren expresses his "sadness" by meeting believers who haven't been baptized. What does THAT mean exactly? Does that mean I've been insufficiently prepared for Christ according to Rick Warren?

Researching this has lead me to the four Gospel accounts of the man himself - John the Baptist, cousin to Christ. Every one of them discusses that locust eating, wild honey chewing, crazy and absolutely lovable guy John coming to "prepare the way" with "straight paths." The so-called "fifth" Gospel, Isaiah, has much to say about how people should recognize the coming of the Christ. From the four Gospels of the New Testament, so far I've found the following.

Fom Mark 1 (NIV version all), John said:

“After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.”

from Matthew 3:

“I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

from Luke 3:

“I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

The Gospel of John (1) has some additional elaboration on what lead John to say the above:

24Now some Pharisees who had been sent 25questioned him, “Why then do you baptize if you are not the Christ, nor Elijah, nor the Prophet?”
26“I baptize with water,” John replied, “but among you stands one you do not know. 27He is the one who comes after me, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.”
28This all happened at Bethany on the other side of the Jordan, where John was baptizing.
29The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! 30This is the one I meant when I said, ‘A man who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’ 31I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel.”
32Then John gave this testimony: “I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. 33I would not have known him, except that the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, ‘The man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is he who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’ 34I have seen and I testify that this is the Son of God.”

All these passages are pretty clear that Christ baptizes us with the Holy Spirit even though John baptized with water to reveal Christ to the world. John was sent to prepare the way for a world who knew nothing of the Christ even though He had existed from the very beginning. After the crucifixation, there are many references to baptisms being performed by a variety of disciples. Paul and Silas baptizing a Roman guard and his family at midnight although was it with water or the Spirit isn't said.

"33I would not have known him..." I knew of the Christ from the first days I could comprehend the words so did my baptism as an infant already set me on the "straight path" from which I've admittedly wander from at times? Has Christ been sufficiently "revealed" to me?

That's what really nagging at me. What if I go through all that preparational process and the actual ritual itself of baptism by water and don't feel any different. Logically, an experience that has the emotional and spiritual impact it has to adult Christians should make one feel dramatically different. What if it doesn't? How would I react then to having engaged in such a ritual that I believe was already performed? Depending on the personalities involved, Baptism in water can be a deeply moving and emotional event with life-changing consequences. For others, is it just an ostentatious display that has no deeper meaning than just a public performance? Those that know me, know I will never engage in a public event that I don't have a deep belief in. So has Christ baptized me with the Holy Spirit as He did to the disciples? Is there a danger of a "for-show" baptism being an enormous letdown?

Perhaps the real direct hit question with respect to baptism is "What does the Holy Spirit's presence in you feel like." I could babble on for some time as to what it means to me intellectually, but from a purely relational point of view, intellect only goes so far as Dante pointed out.

My quest now, is will a Baptism with water make me "feel" any different than I feel now. Is the Spirit in me? How do you feel?